So everyone that I've spoken to says that it's probably not as big a deal as I'm making it out to be, any maybe they're right, but I may have potentially fucked up majorly today.
I am a publicity intern for a non-profit organization which is not intended to be political in the least, but ends up being that way. We have to make a huge effort to not offend people, because the truth is there are a lot of people out to get us, even though we only exist for the good of the city.
Practically everyone at the office is on vacation this week. The only people working today were the CFO, the receptionist, and me. Answering the phones is not one of my responsibilities, and I go over a week at a time without having to do it. As everyone else, I only have to do it when the receptionist, Paul, is busy or on the phone. We have caller ID. And when I saw that news station on the ID, I knew I didn't want to answer it, as my boss, our spokesperson, is out of town. But I watched the switchboard all lit up, and I could see that both Paul and Gail were both on the phone, so I had to pick it up.
Now, earlier in the day, I had several omens that told me to go home. Paul even said it was going to be a slow day and I didn't need be there. But I had things to do and I had already driven all the way out there, so I stayed. Thought about leaving later, but didn't. And when I saw this phone call coming through, I just knew.
I answer. The reporter wants some information on what we do for downtown businesses. I tell her that if she'll hold for a moment, I'll gather that info for her. I knew what we do in terms of promotion, because I help with that, but I've only been around a few weeks and I don't know much about the rest, so I ask Gail and she helps me out, then I go back to the reporter and tell her, very succinctly what we do in that area. I guess she liked it, because she asked if there was anyone available to do an on-camera interview. I resisted. I have never done on-camera and I'm sick. I just don't want to do it.
But here's my line of thinking. What's my boss going to say when I tell her the news channel wanted to do a piece on what we do, and I said no? As a publicist, how can I turn down the opportunity for publicity? What would that look like?
I am not an approved spokesperson for NewTown. Gail is the only person available this week who is, but she was on her way out to a meeting. But, I thought, if what she's going to ask me about is this stuff I've already looked up, which I'm familiar with and comfortable talking about and have concrete, factual answers to, that should be fine. I just really, really didn't want to.
I asked her if she could wait until next week, and she said she really needed this to air tonight (slow news day I guess). So I reluctantly agreed. And of course, she blindsides me and asks me questions that I wasn't prepared for and didn't have factual, concrete answers. Opinion questions. "Do you think..." and things like that. That sure, maybe I do think or I don't think, but I don't know what NewTown thinks. And again, if I were a smart person, I would have said, "I'm sorry, I can't speak to that issue," or "I'm sorry, I would need to research that before I answered." But I made an attempt to answer the questions. And I'm hoping - HOPING - that I didn't misstep. I'm praying I didn't say anything that was out of line with NewTown's positions or philosophies. She was asking about empty storefronts and the cyclical nature of downtown business growth, and whether or not downtown has a perception problem. I tried to be vague enough in my answers not to misstep, and I may have been so vague as to have not really said anything at all and she may not even be able to use the footage (please please GOD don't let her be able to use what I said).
I wish I had realized at the time that I could have asked her to stop the interview, and told her that I would need to get some background information if she were going to go on with that line of questioning. But it didn't occur to me. Finally, at the end, she got around to asking me the things we had discussed on the phone, but by that time I was so flustered that probably looked like shit too.
I'm just so upset with myself. I have no business giving interviews. I am not a publicist, I am an intern. I just thought she was going to ask me about the things she said she was going to ask me about. I thought I was helping.
I know it sounds a little silly, but honestly, I can't afford to screw this up with NewTown. The people on the board, the people I could potentially be upsetting, are important people. They are city and county chairmen, CEOs, politicians, and what's more than that is that Macon is SO SMALL. I have learned in the month I have been interning here that everyone literally knows everyone. I'm up for this job with the Historic Macon Foundation, which is connected to NewTown, and it's the only job opportunity I have EVER had, other than the job at the Med Center. The hirer knows I'm interning with NewTown and he's watching me. Everyone is looking at me right now. Making someone mad is making everyone mad. I can't afford to be blackballed.
I guess there's nothing to do about it now though, but wait until it airs tonight.
Fortunately, it was the local channel no one watches. I just have to hope that all the important people are out of town tonight. |
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sepiastars's journal
